I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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