I like to think it a success when the cops are called
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
