she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize