when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize