She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
