My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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