At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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