dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
