...so i touched it.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
