this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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