Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
