Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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