the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
In America we eat man semen.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
