i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
