I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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