when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So squirting runs in the family.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
