can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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