Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hell yes lets make some ravioli
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
