party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
