We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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