You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
