I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Fuck appropriateness.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The adults are the big ones right?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
