Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
