Cold hands, warm shart.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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