would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
