Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
