therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Only a mothe r could love this liver
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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