Can Purell be used as lube?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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