he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
