I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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