This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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