nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
