i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
