Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
