Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
