What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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