I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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