There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
