So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
