I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
