i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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