p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
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Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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