she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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