I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
