Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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