I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
