this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
