i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.