Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Can you return condoms to CVS?

  (516): View more from New York

  Only if you return your pride as well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Can you return condoms to CVS? (516): Only if you return your pride as well. http://tfl.nu/vx1b
  Replies (32) Good night (645) Bad night (3594)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese. http://tfl.nu/t7g1
  Replies (22) Good night (2834) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop http://tfl.nu/zan9
  Replies (18) Good night (592) Bad night (2556)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life http://tfl.nu/57hm
  Replies (52) Good night (1006) Bad night (6932)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame. http://tfl.nu/0khd
  Replies (23) Good night (4508) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/821r
  Replies (27) Good night (2790) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE. http://tfl.nu/wm9f
  Replies (25) Good night (3885) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me. http://tfl.nu/90ns
  Replies (27) Good night (820) Bad night (3187)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong. (1-207): They want yo temporarily sterile ass. http://tfl.nu/285n
  Replies (9) Good night (1422) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am. http://tfl.nu/s547
  Replies (5) Good night (1523) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador http://tfl.nu/015q
  Replies (4) Good night (1112) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th http://tfl.nu/6ns8
  Replies (5) Good night (489) Bad night (191)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn. http://tfl.nu/5a86
  Replies (4) Good night (294) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  YOU DID WHAT???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college. (1-617): YOU DID WHAT??? http://tfl.nu/p7q7
  Replies (5) Good night (703) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/l222
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (134)

Randomize