Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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