I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
