i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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