Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
soo... how was my night?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
