My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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