your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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