I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize