My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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