i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
