I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
