I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
