I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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