I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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