i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wish you could order shots online.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
