i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
