I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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